Upgrade both vCenter and ESXi to 7.0 U3f or higher and run the below PowerShell command to disable 'largeScaleClusterSupport'. After disabling this feature, you will be able to enable RDMA.
pwsh> Connect-VIServer -Server <vCenter-IP>
pwsh> Set-VsanClusterConfiguration -Configuration <ClusterName> -LargeClusterSupported 0